Well, what have I been doing since September? Spending my days being swallowed by the likes of the job. In September I was offered the position of HR manager at the job and since then life has been on such a roller coaster ride. I am writing this as I am sittinghere suspended for three days over some things that while may have been my fault were also the product of an overbearing job. After being in my new position for a mere 3 months, I was promoted to Director. While I was honored, I initially tuned it down knowing what was ahead of me. However, I was told by HRP that I would still be held to the same expectations as a Director so I would be advised to take the position. I think it started out well, but it went into a swirl of chaos and frenzy at the point that I was so sick I could no longer function. This was at the end of January a mere 3 weeks after being made a Director. Since then I still have not fully gotten teh infection from my body and I continue to have sleepless nights due to the job, family, money, marriage and all esle that swirls about in my sleepless dreams. It all came to head this week when it was brought to my attention that I missed a crucial detail in a letter of discipline to an emploee in early February. I think I too needed this suspension to slow me down and make me refocus on what I am doing. So far today, I have done a great deal of thinking nad mental planning, but now it is time to truly get to work and make things happen for my department. I must prove my worth and what I truly have teh potential to succeed. (Spelling and typing mind you are not my strong points.) So, from today I am refocused on being a better Director and leader for my department. This is not about the job it is more about my personal pride in what I have to work with. So, wish me luck in your thougths, if there is anyone out there thinkng about me and off I go to a whole new place....
posted by Charolette at 9:45 AM

Oh my goodness, what a life I lead... can I handle the boredom and the excitement? Yesterday was Courtney's birthday party... the in-laws can single handedly drive us all to the nut house. Perhaps that is why my husband is such a crabby man, he is crazy from being subjected to his family for years!

On a lighter note, Chloe is growing everyday and loves to smile at whatever life brings her. I would love to be able to live within the limits of her small world that is so small and new and wonderous. I smile at the thought of her smiling at nothing and everythign at the same time. She even smiles when she is throwing up all over mommy. As for Courtney, she is gorwing and growing. She is becoming a 13 year old before my eyes, too bad she is only 4 (as of tomorrow). She says the cutest things.. for instance, if given a choice... she "prefers" to do it her way and does not like mommy to help her make her choice. The funniest thing was we were driving by Ikea in Robinson and all the sudden she proclaimed there are a lot of "fags" there... Well, needless to say, I was astonished by her proclamation and could not for the life of me figure out what she was talking about... She once again eyed up the store and proclaimed to me rather sternly, Mommy, there are a lot of "fags" at Ikea. I was about rolling on the floor laughing at this point (while driving mind you) and I had no idea what she was talking about... but then it all came to me... after another conversation we had around the typical Americana celebrations when she proclaimed, "Look at all the American Fags, Mommy." Well, needless to say there are a lot of American Flags out there and Ikea is surrounded by colorful flags. This past Christmas time we were sitting at dinner one night and Courtney started pouting and said, "Santa is not bringing me an asshole for Christmas." Well, Bryan and I were astonsihed to hear this most recent observation adn were trying not laugh, which was impossible... And she repeated it over and over again and was in teasr, because Santa was not bringing her an "asshole" for Christmas. All I could think was we already have Bryan, I am glad we are not getting another asshole for Christmas. (Just kidding.) So, we continued this conversation for months, before it finally dawned on us what she was really saying... Castle. Amazing what our ears hear when she talks!

I love my girls so much and despite my lack of sleep right now as Chloe has been up since 2am and I arrived at work at 630am just to get away from the house, I would not trade my life for anything... My girls and of course my husband are my life and I would not trade them for the world! (Most days at least.)
posted by Charolette at 9:46 AM

Blah, blah, blah.... oh the excitement. Can life me more dramatic over the little stuff? How is it that two grown adults can have a serious fight about a swing set? What the hell are we thinking? I think we need to get along... or need to kill each other. Whichever happens first. I love my husband don't get me wrong, but what were we thinking? We have nothing in common other than our beautiful girls. They are truly the bright spot in my life. I can't wait for the next thing to happen... maybe it will be a beautiful and moving moment. Speaking of which... Saturday is graduation. Wow. I am actually excited about it too. Hope Bryan is too. It will be interesting to see how the girls respond ot having to sit for 2 hours. That is going to suck. At leat I am done with school!!
posted by Charolette at 12:12 PM

Where to begin... Life is usual and less than unusual or something like that. I have graduation one week from tomorrow and I dread the real world even though I think I am already participating in real life. Thoughts frequently whirl through my head about nothing and everything and I wonder about all the same things most everyone else does. I suppose I have a lot to learn about life and I hope to learn most of it from my friends so I can say I have a well rounded education. I have realized many of my fears recently... including, but not limited to: failure, not being liked, being the subject of another person's jokes, being the smelly person at work, falling out of love, falling in love, raising bad kids, mistakes, not pleasing my boss, and so on and so on. A lot of that is stuff I do have control over, however, some things are just out of my control. I look forward to the point in life that I get ot prove myself and shine and I get to be happy for me and the ones I love. I have a few friends I consider to be the greatest and I would truly be saddened if ther were not in my life... Shawn, Dawn, Sherry, Bill, and Dusti. A few others, I would be sad without, but would live... I won't list so as to spare their feelings. Not that any of them would ever read this. It is amazing how one collects "friends" through life and in the end there are only a few that end up being of importance. I guess for me it comes down to how much energy I have available to commit to a friendship. I have the ability to be a good person for a few minutes at a time, however, over extended periods I think I lose my charm and personality. That is when the real me shows up. I appreciate those that love me for me and allow my true side to shine! Thanks! Well, as usual mommy is needed. So until next time... love yourself!
posted by Charolette at 6:14 PM

Chloe Renee has arrived safe and sound. She was born on March 17, 2003 and was 8 pounds 4 ounces at 20 and a half inches long. Courtney has been wonderful with her and tends to be overbearing at times, but hey that is what big sisters are for I guess. I am on leave from work until June 16 and I am bored out of my mind. I do work one day a week to pay the wonderful employees at two strikes. I guess F/OM appreciates it as does accounting manager, but it is a pain in the ass taking Chloe to work with me.

Home life is a barrel of monkeys on a regular basis. My time is spread among three people, not including myself and it is tiresome. I am dealing as best as any mother I hope. My friends have been my strengths in recent months. They have been my backbone at times and especially my sanity since I seem to have misplaced mine. Dawn has been wonderful and will someday be an excellent mother, however, for now she plays the role of Aunt Dawn like the star that she is.

Well, big sister announced Chloe woke up so mommy must run... until next time... USE BIRTH CONTROL- kids are a pain in the butt! :)

posted by Charolette at 7:52 AM

Well, well... the Phantom Blogger has returned again. I figure I may as well write something even if it is a whole lot of nothing. I am currently 8 months pregnant and have 2 months from this past Friday (January 17) until Chloe is born... Yes for those of you thinking about it, that will be St. Patrick's Day. I am a nervouse twit about the upcoming birth, but it can't be any worse than the first one. Financially is my primary concern... $1,000 a month for daycare, one would think I had a personal nanny. No such luck! At any rate, money must grow on trees somewhere and I will find it.

I finished grad school on December 4, 2002. What a fucking relief!!!! Not to mention it has released a lot of tension on my marriage. Not sure if hubby was jealous or just not enjoying watching the three year old one night a week for two years... All I care about at this point is that I am done!

Work is work is work... nothing worth sharing that is consequential to anybody or anything. Except my resume will grow with my new title of "Executive Assistant to the VP of Finance and Organizational Operations". Sounds great is all... same job I was doing before.

Well, enough babbling about nothing... so long until the phantom blogger strikes again.
posted by Charolette at 5:40 PM

Tah Dah... I have returned!

News Alert from 2 Strikes, for anyone that cares...

Executive Assistant is leaving the agency. She has been there since day one and has been labeled as the most loyal employee. Not sure of the events surrounding the separation, however, I am working ferverently to get details. Her leaving will leave a HUGE hole at the agency. She runs the new initative as well as the "Development Department." Additionally, she takes the most abuse with the fewest side effects... until now. I heard she was getting yelled at last week, but not sure if this is a termination or a resignation. Good part of being responsible for payroll.... I will get the detials one way or another.

Two VP's were announced today in the same memo as Exec Ass leaving. She was shunned big time being that she was here since day one. F/OM and JF were announced as VP's. NO others, jsut them... Granted F/OM is the only one there that can do what it is he does, but JF is an idiot with a brown nose, in mroe ways that one I guess...

Twit is an idiot! She is the development person and she doesn;t know what to do with a list of contacts Dawn left her when she left. How much of an idiot can one person be... Wait don't answer that just yet. I also heard Twit saying she has to have $200K earned in grants by June. She earned a total of $2,000 or so so far... She has a long way to go. I wonder what impact Exec. Ass. leaving is resulting from Twit. It drove Dawn out the door, it can be safe to assume it also drove Exec Ass out the door. Who knows?

On a personal note... only 8 weeks of grad school left!!! I can not wait to be done with school.
posted by Charolette at 6:29 PM